The ART of the Pivot
Most of us creatives would LOVE to create for a living, but oftentimes, we aren’t paid our worth. In addition to that, it’s not uncommon for our art to come from bursts of emotional highs or lows. Not exactly ideal for consistent income. Lately, I’ve been finding myself very burnout. I get that maybe once a year now and honestly, I’m tired of it. I need a change.
I work in tv. That means 10 months (thankfully for me) of work. It’s part time but if you work 12+ hours and your commute can get up to 2 hours each way and adding on working outside, rain/snow or shine, for a good chunk of those days, anybody would grow tired. Plus, you’re on a walkie and socializing all day. Cool people, but it’s not exactly an introvert’s dream to be socially stimulated that much of your day. I need 3.5 days to feel normal again lol. Anyways, my job isn’t creative or fulfilling. Before folks try to come for me (because there is always someone), I’m grateful. Not everyone grew up upper middle class, has majority of family members with degrees, has a degree, is married to a degreed and salaried spouse, and the faith/will to even take the chance to pursue such an unpredictable career. That’s not lost on me. It brings me money. It keeps me in my industry. I get to make connections. But PAs don’t make much money. We have no protections or benefits. Scarce upward mobility. Lack of mentors. Our turnaround is horrible sometimes and I’m on one of the most humane shows that one could be on. And most importantly, I can’t be creative.
Not being creative feels empty, useless, and unfulfilling. It feels like I’m not being myself or living. Crippling. So what does one do when what they do for a living makes them feel like their dying inside?
I write and produce for myself and peers. That’s where my passions lie, among other creative endeavors, but without someone to be like “yes, I love one of your completed scripts. Let’s get you some funding”, I’m left to DIY my projects. Not ideal or efficient when you have to wear multiple hats. I don’t want to wear all the hats. It doesn’t serve me or the project. Plus, there are plenty of amazing artists to fill those roles. That’s the whole point. Anywho, I’ve been thinking long and hard on what I want my life to look like and have come to the conclusion that right now, this isn’t providing the lifestyle that I have put on my vision board. It’s a means to an end. This is where pivot is important.
I have always been fairly good at pivoting. My end goal remains, but the path can be different. That’s how I keep anxiety low but morale up for myself lol. Giving up is the only way for me to fail and one thing we aren’t doing is failing. So at what point does looking at other industries become giving up? I know deep down in reality that it’s not giving up, but a part of me feels like it is. I keep having to remind myself that this is a pivot and not me ending my pursuit of my dreams. I can still be the independent filmmaker that I want to be, as I have been. My finances will just be coming from another source. It sounds silly tbh that I’d consider this giving up when it’s literally the same.
Anyways, all that to say, this pivot is vital. Sometimes we need to let go of something to make room for something better. I don’t need to stay somewhere just because it’s what I’m used to. I’ve been paving my own way forever so why stop now? What’s stopping you? If there’s an aspect of your life that you feel in your spirit needs to change, go for it. Redirections don’t mean that the end goal is different. We are exactly where we are supposed to be and just have to stay the course. Stay creative friends. Stay vulnerable in your art. The world needs us 💜
